August 31, 2009 at 3:10 am 7 comments

Evie's dedication 020 

Today we had Evangeline’s baby dedication at church.

It’s hard enough for me to believe I am a mother of four. But when I think about what it took for Evie to become a part of our family; all the paperwork and money and seven weeks in Ukraine and prayer and worry.

Such a huge struggle for us. All insurmountable to God.

As we stood in front of our church family and friends and my family who came from Michigan to be with us; Sergei prayed for Evie in Russian and used anointing oil to bless her eyes and ears and hands and feet and speech to God.

Three and a half years ago, after Polly was born, I cried through her baby dedication at our church in Michigan. I had no idea what God was doing with our lives; I struggled to imagine myself successful as a mother to a child with ‘special needs.’ At the time, I honestly thought that my life was robbed of future happiness.

I had a lot to learn.

Today, Sergei’s sermon was about adoption; how we, as believers, are adopted into God’s family through Christ.

And during the time of dedication as I held on to sleepy Evie and as Elaina tried her best to look as old as possible (she’s turning nine next month); and as Zoya stood staring down at her feet and Polly tried to overthrow Sergei’s position of pastor at the pulpit; I watched my husband pray for this new daughter of our heart; born of another womb…

and I was thankful.

I have no idea what tomorrow holds. These past few weeks I’ve struggled with mustering a mother’s love for Evie while appeasing my older girls with crafts and walks to the park on the corner, during these last, long summer days and I’ve made deals with Polly in order to spend time getting to know Evangeline.

Each day comes with it’s own messiness and I, like the next lady staying at home with her kids down the street, lose my composure hourly, always wishing I was a better mother and yet, coming to terms with the woman standing in front of her children today.

But I’m still thankful, even though I am so not who I want to be and sometimes my kids are not who I want them to be either.

We have health and a strong roof and each other.

Today, our prayer of dedication of Evie for me, really, was once again telling God that although his plan has not, at times, been ours; we are here, ready, and in spite of washing up pretty and singing loudly at church we are wishing like hell that we can become more like him.

And I truly believe that bringing Evangeline home with us will help us in that pursuit and more importantly, for whatever reason, it’s what God has asked us to do.

Today, I was able to dedicate Evie to the Lord with happiness. 

That means a lot.

keri 066


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7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jen  |  August 31, 2009 at 4:35 am

    Incredible post. Can you believe it’s been nearly a year since the meet up? I guess a lot has happened since then. Sure hope we can meet up again sometime so I can give Evie a big squeeze. Congrats on her dedication.

  • 2. deanne  |  August 31, 2009 at 6:03 am

    Gillian, I wish I could be as honest with my own call to motherhood, and daughter of our Lord, as you are. I read your post, and other of your writings, and I often relate to many of your own feelings and experiences. Thank you for your openess and willing to share your heart even when its the ugliness that the Lord is working out as the good takes it’s place. The Lord uses your words to encourage me, so keep on sista! 🙂

    btw….congratulations on the dedication of Evie! Praise God for all He is doing in your life and your family’s!!!

  • 3. Meredith  |  August 31, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    What a special day for all of you and the connection with Polly’s dedication… Oh, I so remember that! i was about in tears throughout the entire service as we were just 2 weeks shy of Brianna’s heart surgery when she was dedicated on Mother’s day weekend 2006. Three years later… what a difference in my heart and mind and most of all my soul as I held our two newest precious babies (tho Emma was through her surgery).

    It’s so neat, to me, that Serg was the one to bless your daughter and your family. What a strong statement as many families struggle so much for the ‘daddy’ to get on board.

    Your honesty is a blessing. I think we all struggle, but being able to put into words the falling down and getting back up… you have a gift there 🙂

    God bless you all, and thanks for sharing!!

  • 4. My name is Sarah  |  August 31, 2009 at 8:40 pm


  • 5. mmichele  |  September 2, 2009 at 12:39 pm

    ooh. she’s so cute.

  • 6. Renee Garcia  |  September 4, 2009 at 2:43 am

    Thank you for a wonderful post! I always learn so much from you! Congrats on Evie’s dedication!

  • 7. Sally  |  September 23, 2009 at 4:21 am

    Congratulations to all of you. You’ve been missed. I had low spirits today which is thankfully rare. I thought I’d see what you were up to and sure enough, your post brought me tears and joy and encouragement. I’m so proud of you. You are a shining example and inspiration. Your fears and doubts enhance this (at least for me). Please keep it up and believe me I know there is so little time even with two so you’re amazing to find the time with four!

    All the best,


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